could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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