Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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