You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
