your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
where are you?
Hypothermia
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
