I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
