I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
you traded sex for a burrito?
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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