Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
