..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Randomize
