just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
he fucked my hip out of place.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
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