I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
This is the high leading the old right now
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
