spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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