sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Everclear isn't food dammit
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize
