So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Someone shit on the floor
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Randomize
