my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
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