i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize