just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
