does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
