I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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