I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
