I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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