OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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