i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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