But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
