I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
