Your tits are I can't wait for
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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