i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
and she was petting her beer can
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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