so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
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