I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize