i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
