There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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