Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
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