Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
