i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Randomize
