hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
