me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
