He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
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