They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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