Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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