I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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