dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
