What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Houston, we have a blender
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
