i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
