Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
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