New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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