I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
