you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
