hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
