Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Randomize
