I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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