Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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