Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
