You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Dear god my vagina.
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