Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
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It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
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Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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