I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
