i already hear my dad disowning me
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
