Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
