Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
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