So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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