Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
