im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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