My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Walk of Shame today included voting.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
