Where is the hickey?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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