i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize